77. Scorned (2013)

February 5, 2014

It is still early in the month, but I think it is safe to say Scorned could be the worst movie I watch in February. I haven't found any conclusive evidence to support this theory, but I have a feeling Scorned is a partly true, semi-autobiographical piece, since the writer's name was Sadie, and she named the main, scorned character after herself. She probably thought that was pretty clever. From the director of the Leprechaun movies, Rumpelstiltskin, and the awful Triloquist (Mark Jones), comes this worthless piece of trash about a woman (AnnaLynne McCord) who finds out her boyfriend (Billy Zane) is cheating on her and takes matters into her own psychotic hands. Now I know what you are thinking: "The girl from Excision is dating The Phantom? What!?" Don't worry, its just pretend. The chemistry between the two is so non-existent, and the writing so flat and vapid, that it would take a truly painful stretch of the imagination to believe, even for a second, that these people weren't just doing this for a paycheck. I hope they got paid a lot, too. So to start, Zane and McCord go to some house for a romantic getaway, when she finds his cell phone and reads the text messages he sent to her best friend. She ties Zane up and explains to him with stupid detail how she feels about his indiscretion. Then she sends her friend a message from his phone and invites her over for some good times, only to tie her up as well and slowly torture them (sort of). Meanwhile, a stereotypical tattooed convict has escaped from prison. Back to the action at the house - Without putting up any sort of convincing struggle, Zane and the other girl continue being tortured. Occasionally they get away and get caught again, only to get away and get caught once again. Then McCord kills them, and the escapee shows up and she kills him, and she blames everything on the convict, and the police are none the wiser. This movie would have been much better left as a fleeting thought that died shortly thereafter, saving us from the vacuous dribble that was Scorned.