November 24, 2014A woman in confusing blackface and a man flirt in the ocean and then wash up on a beach where another man is waiting for them and starts to attack the man in the water. The man who was on the beach falls on his own knife and dies. Then an occult/voodoo ritual happens on the beach resulting in the woman being decapitated and the man being stabbed and put in a sarcophagus. Then a spaceship takes off to start the credits. A thousand years later the sarcophagus winds up on a cruise ship where rich, gaudy yuppies read tarot cards and enjoy watching fire eating belly dancers. Suddenly the sarcophagus opens and our man steps out, alive as you and I. He starts to kill the ships' crew for some reason (with repeated flashbacks to that fateful night, one thousand years ago), until he sees a beautiful woman - the same woman as before, sans blackface - and turns into a petrified mummy creature. Later, the yuppies open the sarcophagus, see the mummy, and talk about how valuable the jewelry is inside. They leave it open and a man tries to steal the jewelry, only to become the mummy's slave. The mummy makes his presence and condition known to a doctor who knows a whole lot about these things. A cop shows up and questions the doctor. But why? The mummy explains to the woman that the reason he speaks such good English is because of the time he spent in museums in his casket listening to people. Makes sense. The mummy attacks a woman in her bathroom as the cameraman films himself in the mirror. It's perfect. The doctor puts the sarcophagus on display with the mummy inside and chains wrapped around the outside. He leaves the mummy's slave (who never talks and has no apparent relationship to the doctor) in charge of watching the mummy while he does something else. But why? Meanwhile the cop has a security guard watch the tapes to make sure nothing untoward happens. He has a feeling about something. The slave takes bolt cutters and breaks the chains on the sarcophagus, effectively freeing the mummy from his claustrophobic confines. The agile mummy runs and fights and takes bullets. Then he finds his woman and carries her to his cave where a search party plans to capture and destroy him. In an insanely abrupt ending, one guy with a flamethrower gets the job done by torching the mummy and the woman. While they're still burning, some parchment shows up covered with writing in another language. What does it say? No one will ever know. What you have just read was a play by play of 'Voodoo Black Exorcist' as I saw it. If you're interested in seeing it, Mill Creek Entertainment has released it on DVD as part of a 50 Drive-In movie pack, complete with their burned in logo on the bottom right corner of the screen every few minutes. Did I like this movie? Yes, maybe. Not enough to watch it again. Watch the whole movie here:
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