299. Jaws (1975)

July 7, 2014

Imitated countless times but never matched, 'Jaws' still holds up as one of the most terrifying 'stay out of the water' films to date. Watching a 35mm print of 'Jaws' on the big screen with my friends Joe and Aaron was a very humbling experience, and we were all able to notice things we'd never seen before. If you're unfamiliar with this film, I recommend you stop reading and go watch it. If you are familiar with it, watch it again, because you know how great it is.

298. The Fabulous Journey To The Center Of The Earth (aka Where Time Began) (1977)

July 6, 2014

Let me begin by saying 'The Fabulous Journey To The Center Of The Earth' is not the kind of movie you want to start when it's late and you're tired (unless you want to take a fabulous journey to sleep, and then it's perfect). Most people know the story by Jules Verne, or at least have heard of it. The title pretty much sums up the plot. There were some fun effects and terrible acting, which kept me entertained enough to see it through even though the movie itself was kind of boring. I think it may have been fun for a child to watch when it came out in the late 70's, but I don't think it holds up that well to watch today and I can't recommend it for anything more than a sleep aid.

297. Stunt Rock (1980)

July 6, 2014

My friend Patrick came over to watch some bad movies, and boy did we ever. 'Stunt Rock' literally lived up to its title by being long scenes of a rock 'n' roll magic show followed by scenes of one of the coolest stunt guys ever. There wasn't really a plot, just concert footage of the band Sorcery, where the band and a couple actors performed daring magic tricks on stage to an astonished and enthusiastic audience, and stunt footage, semi-documentary style, of an Australian stunt man willing to go all the way to get the stunts right. Somewhere along the way the two stories try to mix, finishing with a spectacular 'Stunt Rock' concert featuring our very own Australian stunt man as part of the band's magic act. Was it good? Absolutely not. Was I entertained? You better believe it.

296. Gothic (1986)

July 6, 2014

I'm usually a huge fan of Ken Russell's work (Lair of the White Worm, Altered States, The Devils), but Gothic didn't really do it for me. It had a great cast and a cool idea and a really creepy poster, but it played more like a semi-homoerotic period piece with occasional bits of genuine worth. Natasha Richardson plays Mary Shelley, supposedly on the night she came up with the idea for Frankenstein, and together with her husband, Julian Sands, and his sister, they visit Lord Byron (Gabriel Byrne) and his biographer, Timothy Spall, for a chance to tell spooky stories and sexual fantasies until the two became so intertwined and real that everyone freaked out. I won't not recommend it, simply because the worst Ken Russell film is still better than most films made today, but it was a little on the weak side.

295. Raising Arizona (1987)

July 5, 2014

Possibly the Coen brothers' finest cinematic achievement, 'Raising Arizona' tells the story of frequent con, Hi (Nicolas Cage), who falls madly in love with Ed (Holly Hunter), the officer who keeps taking his booking photos. The two get married and when they find themselves unable to have children they hatch a plan to kidnap one of the babies of Nathan Arizona, a wealthy furniture salesman with quintuplets. They do their best to raise the baby right until a guilty conscience comes over Ed and they decide to return the baby, but not before some of Hi's old buddies from jail (John Goodman and William Forsythe) figure out what they've done and decide to take the baby and collect the reward money all the while being hunted down by a vicious bounty hunter on a motorcycle. If you haven't seen it, you really should.

294. Non-Stop (2014)

July 4, 2014

Liam Neeson can do anything. Without him, 'Non-Stop' would have been total rubbish, but he managed to take a ridiculous story about an air marshal with a drinking problem who may or may not be responsible for putting a bomb on a plane and is fully responsible for keeping the passengers safe on board said plane and make it quite entertaining. It was well worth the watch for Neeson alone, but the supporting cast was top notch as well, including Linus Roache, Julianne Moore, and Lupita Nyong'o. Directed by the same guy whose last feature film, 'Unknown', was unfortunately not even good enough for Liam Neeson to save, but he fully redeemed himself here.

293. Uncle Sam (1996)

July 4, 2014

For Independence Day this year, my wife and I celebrated in style with William Lustig's Fourth of July zombie-slasher spectacular. After a soldier gets killed in combat, his body gets sent home and weirdly displayed in a living room. When the town's patriotism level spirals, culminating in the burning of the American flag, the soldier's decaying corpse reanimates and begins taking out all of the unpatriotic garbage on the streets. I highly recommend seeing this one, especially around the Fourth. It is basically the most patriotic thing since fireworks and watching it is the strongest way to show support for this fine country we live in. Go watch it and then watch everything else Larry Cohen and William Lustig have made.

292. Flashdance (1983)

July 3, 2014

Another one of the supposed classic dancing movies of the 80's that I hadn't seen before, 'Flashdance' was also one of the most insignificant movies I've ever watched. There was virtually no point to anything that happened. A woman who worked as a welder by day and an exotic dancer by night dreamed of becoming a ballerina, so she worked at it and I suppose it paid off. The problem was it was even less exciting than that sounded. Maybe I was just tired from having watched two dancing movies in a row. Maybe.

291. Dirty Dancing (1987)

July 3, 2014

I made the mistake of admitting to my wife that I hadn't seen any of the 80's dancing movies. She decided that I needed to and that the first one we had to watch was 'Dirty Dancing'. I would not say I had the time of my life (sorry) but I had a pretty good time watching it. Patrick Swayze was awesome. For people like me who hadn't seen it, it is about some dance instructors at an expensive country club who practice more modern, hip styles of dance by night when all the old rich snobs are asleep. When one of the best dancers gets knocked up before a big dance, it's up to Swayze to teach Jerry Orbach's daughter, Baby, to learn how to dance, teach those crusty old rich folks that the young folks need to dance, and save the day. I guess it was entertaining enough to watch it once, but I don't understand why anyone would call it a classic. Maybe if I had seen it as a kid it would have meant more. Maybe.

290. Neighbors (2014)

July 2, 2014

Not to be confused with the far superior 1981 film of the same name starring Dan Akroyd and John Belushi, 2014's 'Neighbors' stars Rose Byrne, Seth Rogen, and Zac Efron. It takes place in a quiet, middle class neighborhood, when a fraternity moves into a house next door to a young couple (Byrne and Rogen) and their new baby. Hoping for continued peace and quiet but not wanting to offend anyone, Rogen and Byrne try their best to politely tell the fraternity leader (Efron) to keep it down. It all goes south from there though, and the rest of the movie is basically an escalating battle between neighbors for status in the neighborhood. I laughed a couple times, so I guess it was effective as a comedy, but I would not call it a good movie, and I would probably not recommend it. I'm sure a lot of people would find it absolutely hilarious, I'm just not one of those people.