April 2014 Recap

Here's my top 5 and bottom 5 for April, 2014 (as always, I'm only including the movies that were new to me):

My top 5 (in no particular order):
1. Drive Angry
2. Jennifer's Body
3. Alyce Kills
4. Smokin' Aces
5. Wolf Creek 2
Runner Up: Nymphomaniac

The bottom 5 (in no particular order)
1. Contracted
2. Stage Fright
3. Shriek if You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th
4. August: Osage County
5. Beneath
Runner Up: Proxy

215. Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

April 29, 2014

We watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes again in anticipation of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes which will be out this summer. Mostly I just like watching it for John Lithgow. I'm not a huge fan of the Planet of the Apes franchise, but I did actually enjoy this one and I'm excited for the next one (which unfortunately will not have Lithgow, but it will have Gary Oldman). In RotPotA, a genetic engineer (James Franco) and his team of scientists are working on a serum to treat Alzheimer's as well as boost other memory functions. Something inevitably goes wrong with the serum and it gets declared unfit for human trials. Franco's funding gets pulled but he doesn't give up. He brings home one of the apes he has been working on, Caesar, and watches his incredible development with the serum. Convinced that the serum is ready, Franco tries it on his Alzheimer's patient father, Lithgow, with great but short-lived results. When Caesar gets taken away from the family for trying to protect them and putting the world's most annoying neighbor in a hospital, he feels neglected and over time trains his fellow captive apes to work together. They escape their prison and Caesar leads his army of apes through a battlefield of confused cops towards the forests. I'd recommend watching it if you plan on seeing the next one, but it is not dependent upon any of the older movies, so that is good.

214. Alligator (1980)

April 28, 2014

Alligator is based on the theory that if you flush a baby alligator down the toilet it will grow into a massive adult alligator down in the sewers. While that myth has unfortunately been debunked, it does make for an entertaining movie. It all starts when a little girl buys a pet alligator and her folks flush the poor guy down the toilet in favor of more suitable house pets. Fast forward several years and we find out that the alligator's food supply has been discarded lab animals that have been injected with some kind of growth serum, which makes the alligator even bigger than normal. Investigating some bizarre deaths, a herpetologist and a police officer (Robert Forster) with a history of dead partners uncover the underground behemoth and try to take it out before it takes out the whole city. It's actually a pretty good movie, with good special effects.

213. Project X (1987)

April 28, 2014

I picked up Project X at the grocery store on DVD for $1, and I'd say I got my money's worth. I doubt that I'll ever watch it again, but I'm not upset that I watched it. Matthew Broderick stars as a military pilot who gets assigned to cleanup duty for a bunch of monkeys in a research study. He ends up getting attached to the monkeys and then finds out that they are being subjected to large amounts of radiation by the government. Because the monkeys are his friends now, he decides vivisection is bad and tries to save them from their treacherous fate. He finds Helen Hunt, the lady who trained the smartest of the monkeys to do sign language, and involves her in the daring escape plan. It was cute in an 80's family-fun kind of way, so if that is what you're in the mood for, enjoy.

212. Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

April 27, 2014

This was the second time I've watched Kick-Ass 2 this year, and I have to admit I liked it a little less the second time around. The first time I watched it was not long after seeing the first movie, so maybe the rose-colored glasses have worn off a little, or maybe I was just tired, but I just wasn't as crazy about it. I still really enjoy the story and hope they can finish the trilogy as planned.

211. Proxy (2013)

April 27, 2014

I don't know how I feel about Proxy. I think I hated it, but I also kind of liked it. I know I hated some of the characters. That is as much as I can say with any certainty. A pregnant woman gets brutally attacked on the street by someone with a brick, terminating her pregnancy just weeks before the baby was due. The woman then went to a support group for women who had lost a child, where she formed a friendship with another woman who lost her husband and son in a drunk driving accident. Turns out they weren't dead, she just really wanted the attention. Also turns out the first woman wasn't exactly who she was supposed to be. That is all I can say without giving too much away. Suffice to say this movie was weird and uncomfortable and left a pretty bad taste in my mouth.

210. Mean Girls (2004)

April 27, 2014

I sincerely expected to hate Mean Girls. It was a lazy Sunday afternoon. My wife was surprised that I had never seen it. So we watched it and I ended up liking it quite a bit. It revolves around Cady (Lindsay Lohan), an intelligent teenager who spent most of her life travelling the world and learning about things most people only dream of, until her parents decided to settle down and introduce her to a real, American high school. Cady becomes friends with some kids who come up with a plan to spy on the popular girls known as The Plastics by making Cady their new friend. Cady goes along with it but eventually gets caught up in the meanness until she realizes how pointless it all is. I do recommend this movie, because I actually laughed out loud while watching it, and not a lot of movies can make me do that.

209. Secretary (2002)

April 27, 2014

I'm not by any means a masochist, but I liked Secretary. It stars Maggie Gyllenhaal as a young girl fresh out of an insane asylum where she spent some time for being a cutter and an all-round manic depressive, and James Spader as the reclusive attorney who hires Gyllenhaal to be his secretary. Over time their work relationship grows into a weirdly sexual one, with Spader spanking Gyllenhaal for any mistakes she may make in her letters, and with Gyllenhaal intentionally making mistakes so she can get spanked. The domineering Spader also makes her dig through garbage and tells her what she can and can't eat, along with other strange requests, to which Gyllenhaal gratefully obliges, giving both of them some bizarre form of pleasure. It isn't the kind of relationship I'd want to be in, but it makes for an entertaining movie.

208. Celia (1989)

April 26, 2014

Celia was an interesting movie that didn't really make a whole lot of sense. It was set in Australia and followed a young girl who had visions of creepy blue creatures trying to get in her house. She longed for a rabbit and eventually got one, but the Australian government was fed up with all the rabbits everywhere and decided to take away all pet rabbits. An over-zealous cop ended up stealing Celia's rabbit and taking it to a bunny farm to be killed. The government overturned their decision though and Celia's family went back to claim their rabbit again. Unfortunately the rabbit didn't survive, so Celia took matters into her own hands and started killing some people. I liked the movie but I don't know if I really understood what was going on.

207. It Could Happen To You (1994)

April 26, 2014

Nicolas Cage again. This time he is a cop who promises a waitress that if he wins the lottery he will give her half of his winnings as a tip since he didn't have enough money with him. He does win, and he stays true to his word despite his angry, money-hungry wife. Cage spends a lot of time with the waitress, doing things for charity and other good things, eventually falling in love with her, until his wife says she wants a divorce and she wants all the money, including the money Cage gave to the waitress. Her lawyers make it happen and Cage and the waitress end up broke, but because they're such good people other people start sending them money and they end up having more than before. It couldn't really happen to you or anyone else, but it is a nice enough story.

206. Wolf Creek 2 (2013)

April 23, 2014

That crazy Australian serial killer, Mick Taylor, is back at it again, killing tourists and cracking jokes. He made a few too many jokes in this one and it lost some of the creepy effect that the first one had. Also, this movie didn't establish a main good guy for a long time. Mick just kept killing different people. He eventually found his choice prey, a British guy named Paul, and tortured and hunted him for the rest of the film. I liked this movie. Not as much as the first one, but I did enjoy it.

205. Savage Streets (1984)

April 22, 2014

Savage Streets was a pretty bad movie. There is a gang of guys who just like causing trouble and a group of girls who just want to have a good time. Linda Blair leads the group of girls, and Linnea Quigley plays her innocent, deaf-mute sister. The guys upset the girls by nearly running them over and the girls get back at them by stealing their car and trashing it. The guys get mad and viciously gang-rape Linnea Quigley and throw another girl off a bridge before her wedding. Blair vows revenge and with a crossbow and a bunch of other weapons she takes out the bad guys one by one. I love revenge movies but this one missed the mark a little bit.

204. Wolf Creek (2005)

April 21, 2014

Set in the remote Australian outback, Wolf Creek begins with some tourists who head out to the Wolf Creek National Park to see a giant crater formed by a meteorite. While there they realize some of their electronic devices have gone a bit wonky and their car refuses to start. A man named Mick shows up and offers them a ride, but ends up taking them even further into the middle of nowhere to hunt and torture them for fun. The creepiest thing about Wolf Creek is that, given the circumstances, there would really be no place to run. The best you could probably do is pick a direction and hope to run into something, but when you're miles from nowhere and being tracked by someone who knew exactly where he was, you're basically out of luck.

203. The Family Man (2000)

April 20, 2014

Another Nicolas Cage movie makes the list... This one took a chapter from It's A Wonderful Life and modernized a few elements. Cage stars as a wealthy loner who works hard for his money but doesn't have much to show for it. He is a nice guy though, and one day his niceness ends up getting him in between a man with a gun (Don Cheadle) and a shop owner. Turns out the man with the gun has magical powers and he swaps Cage's life for one he could've had. The next morning, Cage wakes up to find himself married to Tea Leoni, with a couple kids, in a middle class home working for his wife's father in a tire shop. Cage then has to make a decision which life he prefers - the lonely businessman, or the poor family man. It is a pretty good movie if you like those kinds of movies.

202. Bones (2001)

April 20, 2014

Bones was a pretty cool movie. It took place over 20 years after a pimp named Jimmy Bones (Snoop Dogg) was murdered during a drug deal gone bad. Some kids buy the abandoned building Bones was murdered in and try to turn it into a nightclub, unwittingly disturbing Bones' resting place and bringing his spirit back from the dead to find and kill his murderers, as well as anyone who gets in his way. It had some cool practical effects as well as some lame CGI ones, an interesting story, and a great cast including Pam Grier and Katharine Isabelle.

201. Nurse (2013)

April 19, 2014

This was the second time I watched Nurse this year - not because it was good or because I wanted to, but because a friend of mine wanted to see it. So I watched it again and I think it was better the second time. Paz de la Huerta didn't annoy me as much, so that is good. Her voice is still like nails on a stupid chalkboard. The ending is pretty great though, and if you like modern black comedies you might enjoy Nurse.

200. I.Q. (1994)

April 19, 2014

I.Q. is a romantic comedy in which an auto-mechanic, Ed, (Tim Robbins) falls in love with Catherine (Meg Ryan) when her fiance's car breaks down and they take it to his shop. It just so happens that Catherine is the niece of Albert Einstein (Walter Matthau), and Ed is a big fan. So Ed goes to Catherine's house to tell her he loves her or that her car is fixed or something and becomes friends with Einstein and some other hot shot scientists that may or may not live with Einstein and are all best friends. Einstein and his hot shots find Ed and his love for Catherine intriguing, so they make Ed look like a genius and try to hold up that ruse long enough for Catherine to fall in love with him. It is a silly idea, but the movie is enjoyable enough.

199. Splinter (2008)

April 19, 2014

Splinter was a cool new take on the classic monster movie. It featured an seemingly unstoppable parasitic creature that was drawn to heat and fed on living creatures. A couple criminals on the run hijacked a car and took another young couple hostage, then found themselves trapped in a gas station when the creature started coming after them. Most of the movie was spent trying to figure out an escape plan and ways to kill the beast, with the criminals and the hostages having to find ways to work together to stay alive. I had a good time watching this movie.

198. Trouble in Mind (1985)

April 18, 2014

I don't care what anyone says, I love this movie. I didn't like it the first time I saw it, but I was young and stupid then. The second time I saw it I had more of an appreciation for unconventional film-making, as well as an appreciation for the actors involved (Kris Kristofferson, Divine, Keith Carradine, Joe Morton, Genevieve Bujold, Lori Singer). Trouble In Mind is Alan Rudolph's absolutely fantastic, very surreal film about Hawk (Kristofferson), a former cop who gets out of jail after serving time for killing a notorious criminal, just to find that life on the outside isn't what it used to be. There is a war going on of some sort, and armed militia roam the streets constantly. Coop (Carradine) and Georgia (Singer) have a baby together, and move to the city to find work, but Coop ends up getting involved with Solo (Morton) in several schemes that eventually spiral out of control when they try to take advantage of mob boss Hilly Blue (Divine). Wanda (Bujold) gives Hawk a place to stay in her diner. When Georgia shows up she gives her a job and Hawk immediately falls for her. The movie moves a bit slow, but that is part of the beauty of it. The cool, tough performance by Kristofferson, coupled with the spectacular soundtrack with songs performed by Marianne Faithful and the intricate attention to detail make this movie a classic. See this movie, and if you don't like it, see it again. To quote Ruth Gordon in Harold and Maude, "For aesthetic appreciation, always a little time!"

197. The Three Musketeers (2011)

April 18, 2014

We gave the latest version of The Three Musketeers a shot primarily because it has Logan Lerman in it and we've enjoyed a few of his movies. It also has Christoph Waltz, Mads Mikkelsen, and Milla Jovovich, and they're usually fun. This movie was pretty lame though. I guess that was to be expected. If you don't know the story, go read the book by Alexandre Dumas. The movie differentiated a bit from the book, which was unnecessary. Especially with the high-tech gadgets and gizmos they kept coming up and their desire to show off their skills in making CGI explosions. It was just goofy, and I wouldn't really recommend it.

196. The Perks of Being A Wallflower (2012)

April 18, 2014

I actually really enjoyed this film. I read the book about 10 or 11 years ago, and while I couldn't remember anything that happened in it I could at least remember I liked it when I read it. The film brought back some of those memories, and seemed pretty true to what happened in the book. It follows a shy freshman in high school trying to deal with the suicide of his best friend and the awkwardness of just being a teenager when he meets and becomes friends with two outgoing seniors who help him come out of his shell and live a little. It stars Percy Jackson, Hermione Granger, and Kevin. I say give it a watch, it was pretty good.

195. Trick or Treats (1982)

April 18, 2014

Not to be confused with Trick or Treat (1986), or Trick 'r Treat (2007), Trick or Treats tells the flimsy story of a sane man committed to an insane asylum by his actually crazy wife and her crazy boyfriend. Wait, no it doesn't. That just happens at the beginning and sort of adds to what really happens, which is a whole lot of nothing. A babysitter gets stuck with an annoying kid on Halloween who keeps playing pranks on her all night long. The kid wants to be a magician and he has lots of cool tricks up his sleeve that drive the babysitter crazy. Then his real dad escapes from the mental institution after being locked up for five years and makes his way to the house with vengeance on his mind, but you don't really see him much. This movie needed some help, and probably could have been better.

194. Bowfinger (1999)

April 17, 2014

I think Bowfinger marked the end of Steve Martin making funny movies. You could argue Novocaine was the end of that era, but I'd say Bowfinger was the real deal. After that he just made depressingly family friendly movies and depressingly depressing movies. There are plenty of people who like that stuff, so I say, "good for them," and sadly mourn the loss of one of the funniest comedians the world has ever known (even though he is still very much alive and well). Martin plays Bowfinger, a film director that desperately wants to make a good movie but has absolutely no money to do it. He gets a fantastic script about aliens coming to Earth in raindrops and decides to make the movie starring Kit Ramsey (Eddie Murphy - also in one of his final funny movies), even though Kit Ramsey was the biggest Hollywood star and there was no way they could afford him. So they filmed a bunch of scenes around Kit, making him think he was going crazy, and they eventually found his twin brother Jeff and hired him. Bowfinger is hilarious, so if you haven't seen it check it out.

193. The Strangeness (1985)

April 17, 2014

With a name like The Strangeness, and the truly inspired poster art accompanying it, you'd think this movie would be incredible. Unfortunately it just isn't really anything. I've tried several times to watch The Strangeness, but I almost always fall asleep. This time I was determined, and I'm proud to say I finally made it through. I wouldn't call it bad or good, just middle-of-the-road, independent film making. There was a crazy stop-motion creature living in an abandoned gold mine and it still looked cooler than any CGI effects out there today. There were several young people who spent most of their time talking about nothing until their eventual demise. Mostly it was just that - talk and talk and talk then die. So it had a couple good things, but it sure had some long, drawn out, boring bits to pad the run-time. As desperately as I wanted to enjoy this movie, I can ultimately only suggest it to anyone who desperately needs a nap.

Here is the whole movie on YouTube:

192. Devil (2010)

April 16, 2014

I spent a long time avoiding Devil because of some really negative reviews, and I wish I wouldn't have listened because I enjoyed the movie a lot. It took place almost entirely on an elevator where a small group of people get trapped and start dying and one of the passengers isn't entirely what they seem to be. A couple security guards and some police officers watch the action unfold through the CCTV monitors and try to account for who is in the elevator and why, while they work on getting them out. Definitely entertaining enough to watch as long as you're not too claustrophobic.

191. Thinner (1996)

April 16, 2014

I've heard a lot of people say they didn't like Thinner, and I've never been sure why. In my opinion, it was a pretty solid movie. Sure, it had some stupid parts and it could have been much better, but they did a decent job with what they had. When a lawyer hits and kills a gypsy woman with his car and then gets away with it in court, the woman's husband puts a curse on the lawyer, the cop who turned a blind eye, and the Judge who let him get away with it. The lawyer (who had a lot of weight to lose) was cursed with losing weight. At first it seemed like a blessing until he started losing too much weight way too fast. The twist at the end was dumb but for the most part I really liked Thinner.

190. Oculus (2014)

April 16, 2014

Oculus was a bit of a let down. I know a few friends who enjoyed it, but I just felt like it was missing something. Kind of like they didn't really think some things out before they made it. Maybe that is just me, and maybe I'm being too hard on it, but some of the plot holes and poor decision making made me cringe. It started with a little girl and her brother in what seemed like an abusive household, but was actually due to to a haunted mirror that made people do horrible things and have hallucinations. The mirror sucked all the life out of everything around and killed off everyone except for the kids. The brother was accused of killing the parents and was sent to a mental institution. Several years later, the sister found the mirror at an auction and with her brother fresh out of the asylum she planned for the two of them to destroy the mirror. She came up with an elaborate plan to "kill" the mirror, which was much easier said than done. She also dug up some history on the mirror and it turned out that everyone who ever owned it had gone insane or was killed. It wasn't a terrible movie, I just wasn't really a fan.

189. Drive Angry (2011)

April 15, 2014

I don't think I can say just how much I enjoyed Drive Angry. I'll try, but words can't describe how fantastically awesome this movie is. It is unbelievably corny, but in a so-awesome-its-even-more-awesome kind of way. I really don't want to give away a single detail of the plot because you just need to see it to believe it. It stars Nicolas Cage, Amber Heard, and William Fichtner, and it even features the amazing Tom Atkins in a small role as a police captain. I highly recommend Drive Angry to every single person everywhere, alive or dead. Seriously, go track down this movie and watch it today.

188. Nymphomaniac (2013)

April 14, 2014

Although it was split up into two parts, I'm only considering Nymphomaniac one movie on my watch list. I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. I'd say it was easily my favorite Lars von Trier movie to date, which isn't that hard since I don't like most of his movies. Nymphomaniac was an occasionally funny drama combined with softcore and some hardcore sex scenes. It told the story of a woman who, from a very young age, was obsessed with sex. It detailed her life and her many sexual encounters and attempts to satisfy her urges. Despite the graphic sex scenes and the sexual nature of the film, I wouldn't call it pornography, and I would actually recommend seeing it because it was a pretty good movie.

187. Joe (2013)

April 13, 2014

Starring Nicolas Cage and the main kid from Mud (Tye Sheridan), Joe was a pretty decent movie about a kid trying to do the right thing and support his family despite having a crazy old man for a dad and plenty of other problems. Cage offered him a job killing trees for other businesses to be able to remove them, and more or less took the kid under his wing for the better part of the movie. He also gave the kid's dad a job and realized what a waste he was, which made him feel even more sorry for him. The coolest thing about this movie was that, apparently, the dad was just some homeless guy the director found and gave the job to. Cage also had the most pointless anger management problem and would fly off the handle for pretty much no reason. I think if it had been anyone but him I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much.

186. Popcorn (1991)

April 13, 2014

It had been several years since I had seen Popcorn, and I have to admit I was a little let down. I remembered it being much better than it was. I still enjoyed it for what it was and I'd still probably watch it again, it just didn't live up to my fonder memories. Some unforgivably obnoxious film students clean up an old theater and stage a horror movie extravaganza complete with over-the-top gags (including buzzers in the seats and a giant mosquito hovering over the crowd). I have to give them credit for going all out with the costumes - everyone in the audience showed up in costume. The film students end up uncovering some old film and learn more about the sordid history of the theater. Then someone starts killing everyone during the sold out show. If you haven't seen it, give it a watch just to say you've seen it, but don't get your hopes up too much, it isn't that great. It is a little hard to find, since it is long out of print on DVD. I got an old VHS copy from a friend and watched that.

185. Return to Nuke 'Em High Volume 1 (2013)

April 13, 2014

The production value of Return to Nuke 'Em High Volume 1 seemed a little too good to be a Troma film. Fortunately the contents of the movie were just as ridiculous and stupid as everything else they do. The movie ran a little long for me, and I thought they could have taken parts of part 1 and parts of part 2 (not yet released) and made one good movie. So thanks, Quentin Tarentino, for suggesting Return to Nuke 'Em High be split into two movies. Oh well, this is what we get, so let's at least be grateful for something. When the Nuke 'Em High Glee Club eats the special cafeteria tacos and turns into hideous mutants called The Cretins, it is up to a couple girls to try to figure out a cure. Unfortunately the mutations start spreading to other people and Tromaville once again becomes home to a cornucopia of freaks. The best part of the whole film, in my opinion, was a song by a band called RapeDoor, where they kept repeating, "This is the last song I'll ever write/gonna kill myself tonight," while our two leading ladies danced and made out with each other. There was plenty of blood and guts and ooze and goo and gore to go around, so if you're in the mood for all that, check this one out.

184. Whip It (2009)

April 13, 2014

I haven't liked Ellen Page since I saw (and despised) the movie Hard Candy, and I haven't liked pretty much any movie that she has popped up in since then. With that in mind, I still decided to give Whip It a chance. Probably because it was directed by Drew Barrymore and I saw the trailer before some other movie and it looked alright. I ended up actually really liking it though, and I think my opinion on Ellen Page may have shifted just a little bit. I was impressed that this movie actually explained the rules of roller derby, which made for a much more pleasant viewing experience than Unholy Rollers. I also really liked that Daniel Stern was in it, because he is awesome and should be in a lot more movies. I'd say Whip It was definitely worth watching for an enjoyable sports movie.

183. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

April 12, 2014

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation had an unbelievable amount of potential - it starred two future Oscar winners (Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger) and a cross-dressing Leatherface. With all that going for it, it really wasn't a good movie, and not even in a bad way. At best I'd call it a curiosity. Somehow they took a talented cast and an interesting idea and a tried-and-true bad guy with a twist and they made a really boring movie with a really stupid story. To begin with, Leatherface was hardly in it, which was a let-down. It relied far to heavily on McConaughey's ability to act like a lunatic (and to his credit he was fantastic), but there wasn't much else going on for it. Just some kids who got lost and ended up getting slaughtered by the Slaughter family. Only worth watching to complete the franchise, but not for anything else.

182. Southern Comfort (1981)

April 12, 2014

Southern Comfort was a good movie, about a group of National Guards who get sent in to the Louisiana swamps to do some task and end up getting hunted by angry hillbillies through the swamp. You can't blame the hillbillies though... The National Guards stole their canoes and then fired blanks at them to scare them off (they fired blanks because they didn't bring any real ammunition with them). Justifiably perturbed, the locals fired back (with real bullets) and killed one of the National Guards. For some reason, the hot-headed National Guards kept trying to capture the shooter, eventually capturing a different man and burning down his house, then keeping him as their prisoner. Those are all very bad ideas as it turns out, because the remaining hillbillies systematically killed off the National Guards to get their friend back. It is the kind of movie where you end up rooting for the 'bad guys' because the 'good guys' are incompetent jerks. Good movie though, and I would recommend watching it for an interesting story and really good acting.

181. Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th (2000)

April 11, 2014

Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th is the kind of garbage you end up watching when you're in a room with four people who all love movies and you're trying to find something on Netflix that none of you have seen. There is a reason none of us had seen it - it is absolutely wretched. I understand that comedy is hard, and good parody films are few and far between, but I'm pretty sure everyone involved with this film was either not trying or just stupid. How they ever got anyone to give them money to make it, I don't even want to know. Trying to capitalize on the horror genre during the late 90s, featuring parodies of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer (among others), this movie failed in basically every aspect. It was so not funny that it was actually painful to watch.

180. Cheap Thrills (2013)

April 9, 2014

Cheap Thrills wasn't bad. It wasn't great, and it certainly wasn't a new idea, but it had some interesting bits and was entertaining enough to keep me watching. It starts with a guy who is about as down on his luck as you can get - he lost his job, he couldn't pay his bills, etc., etc. After leaving work for the last time he stopped by a bar and ran into an old friend and traded stories about how awful things were. Then they met a couple who started paying them to do whatever strange things popped into their heads. I suppose it was trying to show how far people will go when they need money, and it was pretty far. It reminded me a little of 'Would You Rather' which I hated, even though I didn't hate Cheap Thrills. I guess it was worth watching, although there are plenty of movies I'd suggest watching first.

179. The Brain (1998)

April 9, 2014

The Brain was a fun movie about some high school kids who try to stop a mad scientist from taking over the world with his televised hypnotism, powered by a giant creature he called 'The Brain'. Mostly it was just fun because I found it at the thrift shop on VHS for a quarter. Mostly. I have to give credit to my boss, Ted, for giving me his old VCR and reigniting my passion for finding cheap VHS obscurities wherever I can. There wasn't a whole lot more to the plot of The Brain. The main guy ended up in an insane asylum where he met the crazy doctor behind the nefarious world-domination scheme. He found the brain in a back room and from then on it was him and his girlfriend running away from everyone else. He tried to tell the cops but they were more inclined to listen to the doctor than an escaped mental patient. Meanwhile, through the television, people were getting hypnotised left and right and being forced to kill. Like I said, it was pretty fun, and it was definitely worth the quarter I spent to see it even though it is currently available to watch for free on YouTube.

Here is a scene to show you just how awesome and scary this movie is:

178. Blade (1998)

April 9, 2014

Blade is awesome. I really just put it on because I felt like watching something with Kris Kristofferson in it, but I quickly realized I had forgotten just how cool the movie really was. It suffers only slightly from a few dated looking special effects, but is ultimately a non-stop, gory thrill ride. Wesley Snipes stars as Blade, a half-human, half-vampire who kills other vampires to keep humanity safe. Kristofferson plays Whistler, his human helper that tries to keep Blade safe. Stephen Dorff plays a vampire who plots to become the most powerful vampire ever that can walk in sunlight, making him a mostly invincible immortal. I highly recommend it if you haven't already seen it, especially to fans of good vampire movies.

177. All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)

April 8, 2014

This was my second time watching All The Boys Love Mandy Lane this year. I just really love it. I'm a sucker for slasher films, and this modern day slasher film hits all the right buttons for me. It also has a real nostalgic feel to it, with a great soundtrack and some decent gore. I can't recommend this movie enough, but I do suggest watching it more than once. Actually, I think somehow this movie compels you to watch it again. It doesn't really break new ground, but something about it feels fresh and new. Give it a shot and see what you think. I can't help but love it.

176. Jennifer's Body (2009)

April 8, 2014

Jennifer's Body was way better than I would have ever expected. I think a lot of people lost interest in it when they cast Megan Fox, but she did a fine job and it is actually a really cool movie that will probably end up with a decent cult following. Fox stars as Jennifer, the super-attractive high school girl who everyone wants to date. She falls for a terrible singer in a terrible band and when she tells him she is a virgin he tries to sacrifice her in a pagan ritual. Since she wasn't a virgin, the ritual fails and she ends up possessed by a demonic, flesh-eating creature. Her best friend, Amanda Seyfried, is the only one with any idea, and she tries her best to stop Jennifer before she kills everyone they know. I strongly suggest this movie to anyone interested in fun b-movie horror films. It is surprisingly good and well worth the watch.

175. Wishmaster (1997)

April 7, 2014

The best thing about Wishmaster was all the cameos - Tony Todd, Kane Hodder, Ted Raimi, etc. Not to mention Robert Englund was one of the main characters and Angus Scrimm was the narrator, so it offered a veritable smorgasbord of horror talent. When an art collector orders a rare statue, all kinds of chaos ensues. Unbeknownst to the collector, a powerful demon called a djinn is trapped inside a gemstone hidden in the statue. An appraiser tries to get the value of the stone and ends up unleashing the djinn who then offers three wishes. Any time someone wished for anything, bad things happened (of course), and more often than not someone ended up dead. It was a pretty entertaining movie with some fun special effects and a great cast.

174. Tank Girl (1995)

April 7, 2014

I never read the Tank Girl comics, so the discrepancies between the film and the comics don't mean anything to me, but apparently they are a big deal to some people. Tank Girl is a film I thought I had seen (and maybe I had seen parts of it), but now I'm pretty sure I'd never seen it. I couldn't help but think it must have been really annoying when it came out, but now it holds a slight nostalgic charm that makes me not miss but casually remember that the '90s happened. It takes place sometime in the future when the Earth's water supply is almost dry and what is left is owned and controlled by an evil corporation headed by Malcolm McDowell. Lori Petty stars as Tank Girl and Naomi Watts plays her brilliant sidekick, Jet Girl. Ice-T leads a gang of mutant kangaroo people. It was pretty weird and had some enjoyable moments, but occasionally leaned a little on the boring and annoying side and would've benefited from some editing.

173. August: Osage County (2013)

April 6, 2014

I really didn't like this movie... I didn't have any expectations going in, so I wasn't disappointed or anything, I just couldn't care less about any of the characters or anything that happened to them. Throughout most of the film, someone was shouting at someone else who was whining about something and it just wasn't interesting. There was one scene with Benedict Cumberbatch, Julianne Nicholson, and Chris Cooper that was genuinely interesting and worth watching, then that scene ended and I remembered how much I didn't like the movie. Other than that scene I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

172. Them (2006)

April 6, 2014

Them was a really good movie. So good that they pretty much remade it (although they changed a few minor details) with the movie The Strangers. A couple have a nice house, surrounded by trees and secluded from the rest of the world, and they live in peace and quiet and keep to themselves until one night some people steal their car and break in to their home. The couple spend most of the movie trying to get away and get help but that proves to be difficult when you live in the middle of nowhere. It had some creepy moments and an interesting twist at the end, and I would say it is worth watching for all fans of home invasion horror movies.

171. The Hunger Games - Catching Fire (2013)

April 6, 2014

Catching Fire was way better than the first Hunger Games movie. It felt less like a Battle Royale (or The Running Man) rip-off and more like its own story. You do have to see the first one for this to make sense though. After the first games the people in the districts start rebelling against the capital and the president has to rekindle their fear. He sets up a new game, the quarter quell, which sees former victors fighting each other to the death. Katniss and Peeta get thrown back in and they not only have to fight the other tributes, they have to battle their environment which includes poisonous fog, killer monkeys, blood rain, and a lot of lightning. I liked this movie much better, and it gives me hope for the next movie. I've heard it will be even better, so we'll see.

170. Alyce Kills (2011)

April 6, 2014

This film was pleasantly surprising. I didn't have any expectations (which always seems to be a good way to watch a movie). It had some plot holes and stupid decision making by the characters but I could forgive those because they didn't distract too much from the overall story line. When Alyce, a young, loner girl accidentally pushes her best friend off a roof when they were drunk, she falls deeper and deeper into insanity. She meets a drug dealer and starts taking all kinds of drugs to numb her body, and then starts killing whoever gets in her way. Despite her being an awful person, I still felt for her character and wanted her to get away with everything. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, but for people interested in independent horror films, it is well worth the watch.

169. Beneath (2013)

April 5, 2014

Unfortunately, Beneath was not a very good movie. It fell victim to several horror movie cliches, from the teenagers going out to the woods to the dumb decisions they kept making. They had the jock, his brother - the smart guy, the hot girl (dating the jock but in love with the smart guy), the athletic girl, the outsider, and the annoying geek. These people would never be friends in real life, so why should we believe that they are friends in this movie? They didn't even act like they liked each other that much. Whatever... So they go out to the woods and get on a boat to do something on the other side and the harbinger (Mark Margolis) shows up and basically tells them they're doomed, but being teenagers they don't pay heed to his warning. Pretty quickly they get attacked by a giant fish (the fish was actually cool looking) and then they bicker at each other until one by one they get killed by the fish. The fish was the one redeeming feature about this movie as the writing and acting were all pretty dull.

168. Contracted (2013)

April 5, 2014

I really wanted to like Contracted, but it was so poorly written that I just couldn't. It had some cool gore and effects, but not enough to make the movie worth watching. The main girl was supposed to be a lesbian although her relationship was never believable and her partner didn't seem interested at all. After being date-raped at a party and waking up only partly remembering what happened, she refused to tell anyone she was raped and she refused to go to the hospital. That was frustrating to begin with but it just became absurd at the point when her body was deteriorating to the extent of losing hair, fingernails, teeth, and lots of blood (as well as many other disgusting disfigurations), yet she still refused to get help. She found out from a friend that the guy who raped her was wanted by the police and anyone who had been in contact with him needed to get emergency care immediately and contact the police. Of course she didn't do either of those things (why would she?). She eventually told her girlfriend that she had sex with a guy and her girlfriend was furious and broke up with her. Seriously... If you get raped, call it what it is, and call the police! For me it was impossible to look past the stupidity of the lead character. I obviously felt sorry for her and hoped for revenge at first but instead they never show you the rapist again and they don't even really act like she got raped (even when a drug dealer tells her he sold the guy a roofie!). Contracted was a stupid movie that I would specifically recommend not seeing.

167. The Human Tornado (1976)

April 5, 2014

The Human Tornado was Rudy Ray Moore's second film as the amazing Dolemite. This film pushed all the limits, and broke all the boundaries. When Dolemite was caught sleeping with the Sheriff's wife, the Sheriff and all his racist hillbilly friends chased Dolemite and his friends out of town. They headed for California where a gangster had kidnapped Queen Bee and her girls, and they took on the mob to get her back. The plot was hilariously ridiculous, as were all of the characters. While I still prefer the first Dolemite (actually my favorite Dolemite film is Petey Wheatstraw), The Human Tornado is a lot of fun and definitely worth watching for fans of 70's blaxploitation films.

166. America 3000 (1986)

April 4, 2014

It took me a while to get used to the weird, 80s-futuristic vernacular used in this movie. It is set 900 years in the future after a nuclear war has decimated most life on Earth and sent the survivors back into the stone age. Women rule in the future, and they keep men in different categories: toys, seeders, and slaves. Two of the men escape and form their own tribe and work to defeat the women. When one of the men stumbles into a perfectly preserved presidential bunker, he gathers what weapons he can and pretends to be a prophecized president that will lead over everyone and reunite all people. It was as goofy as you'd expect it to be, and once you get past the way they speak it is actually a fairly OK movie.