March 6, 2014This movie was so horrible. It scored points for having an awesome title, but that was it. Gore-Met, Zombie Chef From Hell had no budget, absolutely no talent, an incomprehensible plot, and a goofy 80s synthesizer score that drowned out most of the stupid lines the terrible actors tried to get out. As best as I could tell, it was about a member of an immortal brotherhood who tried to kill their high priestess to gain more power, but when the brotherhood found out they cursed him and forced him to live on human flesh forever. That was in the year 1386. 600 years later, the cursed guy (named Goza), owns a dive bar somewhere and has his assistant (named Lonezor or Blozor or something) kill and cook the patrons (who he then feeds to the other patrons for some reason, with bones and jewelry still intact). A librarian showed up and stole some book from Goza, did some research, then became the high priestess. Meanwhile the brotherhood was talking about and plotting... something. Then Goza hadn't eaten flesh for a while and his skin started peeling off and the high priestess super-glued his mouth shut, then nailed him to the floor so he couldn't reach the severed foot that was just out of his reach (Even though he'd had that foot for a while... I don't know why he didn't just eat it before). One cool thing about this movie was something I'd never seen before (and thanks to the poor lighting, bad camera angles, and rough quality of the video I still haven't really seen it), was when Goza's assistant knocked a guy's head off and drank the blood from his neck like a drinking fountain. Other than that, this movie had absolutely nothing to offer.
Watch the whole stupid movie on youtube for free here:
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